


Inescapable Agony

by dangerousthinking



Category: Expedition Unknown (TV), Ghost Adventures (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Grief, M/M, Zosh, blood mention, but whatever I suppose, idk if I should say 'character' since he's based on a real person, no happy ending, tw blood, tw death, zangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 06:30:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18244292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dangerousthinking/pseuds/dangerousthinking
Summary: He hangs up on his end and puts his phone down. Running his hands over his face, he leans back onto the couch in a way that Josh would yell at him for. (“You’ve got to take care of your spine, Zak! Sitting like that is only going to make it hurt later.”) He can still hear his voice when he does these things.His eyes burn with tears he no longer has as memories of that day flash through his head. The call he’d gotten from Josh’s team about the accident was forever stuck in his memory.* * *The Pain Train has left the station





	Inescapable Agony

The dial tone is deafening as it drones through the air of the otherwise empty room. There is still furniture in it, the couch where they’d first kissed, the coffee table, the shelves. And Zak was there too. 

Subconsciously, Zak’s fingers move to the redial button for what felt like the millionth time. He is met immediately with a voicemail.

_”Hey, you’ve reached Josh Gates! Sorry, I was unable to take your call, I was probably sleeping, exploring, or spending time with Zak. Leave your name, number, and a reason for calling and I’ll be sure to get back to you!”_ A beep rings through the air, followed by silence. He wants to say something, but there’s nothing to say. Nothing Josh will be able to hear.

He hangs up on his end and puts his phone down. Running his hands over his face, he leans back onto the couch in a way that Josh would yell at him for. (“You’ve got to take care of your spine, Zak! Sitting like that is only going to make it hurt later.”) He can still hear his voice when he does these things.

His eyes burn with tears he no longer has as memories of that day flash through his head. The call he’d gotten from Josh’s team about the accident was forever stuck in his memory.

_”Zak, it’s Josh. He’s hurt. I don’t know how it happened, everything was fine, I don’t know,” the person on the other end of the line was panicking like they couldn’t get their thoughts together._

_“Is he alright? What happened exactly?” Zak tried to keep his voice calm, so the other person might calm down too._

_“There was this cave underneath this church or whatever we were at, and he wanted to be the first to go down there. The equipment was fine when we checked it, I don’t know how this happened.”_

_Zak’s gut dropped, and his ears started ringing. “What happened?”_

_“Zak, the rope broke. There must have been a sharp rock that we didn’t see, and it must have nicked it just enough to cut it. Josh fell roughly 50 feet and he hit the ground hard. His helmet was split in two. He’s in the hospital, but--” there was a shuffling, and he could hear some indistinct talking on the other end._

_“‘But’? What happened? What’s going on?” Zak felt the panic in his voice._

_“Zak, just try to get here. The doctors are doing everything they can, but it’s not looking good.” They gave Zak the address of the hospital (thankfully in the US) and hung up._

_Zak was out the door in a flash, only grabbing his keys as he bolted to his car. He drove as fast as he could, but by the time he arrived and saw Josh’s crew they were talking to a doctor. The member he had spoken to on the phone looked over at him with tear-filled eyes, and he felt his gut twist as though someone had stabbed him with a hot knife and started to twist. His neck felt thick and hot as he approached._

_“This is Zak Bagans, Josh’s boyfriend,” one of the crew said to the doctor._

_The doctor turned to face Zak, a solemn look on his face. “Mr. Bagans, I’m sorry, we did everything we could.”_

_Zak shook his head. “Wh-what do you mean? What’s going on? Where’s Josh?”_

_“I’m sorry, but Mr. Gates passed. We tried everything we could, but his injuries were too severe.”_

Zak shook his head as if shaking his head would rid it of the memory. His face felt wet. He must’ve had tears left after all.

There was a knock at his door, and begrudgingly he got up to answer it. Nick and Aaron stared back at him.

“Zak! Oh thank God, you weren’t answering our calls, we’ve been worried sick!” Nick said with a sigh of relief.

“Yeah. You don’t look too good, bro. When was the last time you ate anything? Or showered?” Aaron asked.

Zak stared at them for a moment. “Hey,” his voice sounded hoarse, even to his own ears, so he cleared his throat. “How have you guys been? Sorry I’ve kind of been ignoring you.”

Nick and Aaron looked at each other, then back at Zak. “We’re worried about you, mostly. Why don’t you go take a shower and put on some clean clothes and I’ll go get some food? Aaron can stay and clean up a little bit.” Aaron nodded.

“I… yeah, okay.” Zak backed up to let Aaron in, and Nick turned around to get back in the car.

By the time he’d finished his shower, Nick had returned with pizza and was helping Aaron clean. Aaron had opened the windows, and the room no longer felt stale. He felt clean, and for the first time in days, he felt his stomach growl with hunger.  
He got halfway through the pizza before he spoke again.

“Hey uh. I just wanted to say thank you for coming over here. You guys didn’t have to, but I appreciate it.”

“Of course we did. We’re a family, that’s what families do,” Aaron said, putting a hand on Zak’s shoulder.

“Yeah, we care about you, man,” Nick added.

Zak took another bite of his pizza. “I was thinking while I was in the shower… How would you feel about doing another investigation sometime soon? It might be good to get out of the house.”

Nick and Aaron looked delighted. “Hell yeah! Where did you have in mind?”

“I was thinking, maybe that church where Josh was last? They said it was abandoned, there could be spirits there too. Maybe a demon, if we’re lucky.” He looked at his friends. Nick and Aaron glanced at each other before Aaron responded.

“Sure, dude. We could totally work that out.”

* * *

Zak was animatedly talking with Jay and Nick as Aaron drove the four of them to the abandoned church. Nick and Aaron were relieved to see Zak acting like himself again. He wasn’t laughing or anything, he didn’t really smile, but he was getting there.

They pulled in just before dusk, and almost as if they were on autopilot they had the equipment set up and ready to go. Zak did his intro talking about the location, experiences that were reported before it closed down, the works. They walked around and did their preliminary reading of the place before they really began their investigation.

Zak and (subsequently) Aaron made a beeline for the basement. Nick patched over to Aaron’s headset. _”Aaron, are you sure that’s a good idea?”_

_”I… I’m not sure, I’ll keep an eye on him.”_

Nick wasn’t too convinced. _“I’m coming down there.”_

Zak, of course, wasn’t paying attention to his headset. He had one goal, and one goal only. Josh.

That was his goal the second he’d suggested going here. It goes without saying that he has a firm belief in the supernatural, and Zak believes, without a doubt, that he’ll feel Josh here. He /needs/ to feel him again. In Zak’s mind, if he can just feel his presence, that loving warmth he’d grown so accustomed to. The warmth he craved.

It was a cold night, and it was even colder in the basement of this old, damned church. He acknowledged Nick and Aaron’s presence somewhere, but he didn’t care. The second he walked in he felt a heavy weight settle on his chest. His fingers went cold.

Someone had come through and sealed the entrance to that cave, and he was pretty sure that those dark spots near the entrance were blood, but he shook that thought out of his mind quickly. He focuses on the good memories, and the weight gets heavier. He sits as close to the hole as he could and focused himself.

“If there are any spirits here, make yourself known. I am here to speak with you,” Zak says into the darkness around him. His heart is pounding loudly in his ears, and he forces the cool air into his lungs. He waited, and waited. Nothing happened.

“Aaron, do another EMF reading,” Zak said, and he heard some shuffling as Aaron carefully moved around the room.

Aaron sighed. “It’s the same as before, man.”

Zak shook his head. “Where’s the spirit box?” He notices his hands are shaking as he reaches into the bag next to him. The obnoxious sounds met his ears as though they were underwater.

“I know that you’re here, so come out! Show yourself!” Zak was shouting now. He couldn’t hear it, but he felt it in his already strained vocal cords.

His hearing returned, and he heard nothing.

“Goddamn it, Josh,” Zak’s voice cracked as he felt himself start to cry. “You said you wouldn’t leave! You said you’d be home soon!” He was screaming, and he heard himself this time. His voice and grief felt enormous in the small room.

“Zak, man, let’s just go,” Aaron said, getting out his flashlight.

Zak didn’t hear him. “I know you’re here goddamn it, Josh! You died-” he choked on his word. This was the first time he said it out loud. “You fucking _died_ here Josh, you _have to be here!_ ” He screamed, his voice cracked, he was crying now. His face felt hot and his hands got colder. He wasn’t sure he was breathing.

Nick had his camera away and went up to Zak, putting a hand on his arm. Zak immediately flailed his arm off, hitting Nick. “Please, Josh, just one sign! I need to… I need to know,” Zak felt a sob rack through his body. There was nothing here. He felt no love, no warmth from Josh. He knew he would never feel it again and it hit him like a hole in his chest.

Aaron and Nick both teamed up to grab either of Zak’s arms, fully dragging him up the stairs and out to the yard as he continues to scream and yell things to Josh, who would never hear them. Jay silently nodded to Nick and Aaron and went inside to get the equipment.

Aaron knelt down in front of Zak where he fell onto the grass. He put a hand on his shoulder. “He’s gone, dude. I’m sorry. You’re not alone, though. You’ve got your family, you’ve got us.” Zak tried to shove Aaron away, to get back to that space and do God knows what, but Aaron just pulled him into a hug. Zak felt in his heart, now, that Josh was gone. He was never coming back. 

His agony was known in the sobs he let out into his best friend’s shirt.


End file.
